Recently, I attended closing arguments before a notorious federal judge (whose name is subtly, imparsably encoded in the title and body of this post). I'd heard the legends, but this was my first time seeing the Real thing.
Early on, it became clear that the judge would more than live up to his billing. More than that, though, his performance confirmed my long-standing suspicion that court transcripts are ridiculously insufficient instruments for appellate courts to assess the fairness of trial court proceedings. Consider one exchange as it will have been recorded in the standard format; the scene begins as the prosecution has concluded opening argument, and defense attorney rises to address the court:
Judge: You do not have authority through this court for that.
Defense Attorney: I'm sorry your honor, I received permission from Mr. Clerk.
Judge: You do not have authority through this court for that.
Alright, nothing to see here. But now consider the same events supplemented by pertinent detail:
And just as Defense attorney touches the easel, the Judge suddenly barks:
Judge: You do NOT have authority through this court for THAT!
Defense Attorney: [Pausing to turn back toward and address the court.] I'm sorry your honor, I received permission from Mr. Clerk, and thought...
Judge: [Barking more loudly] You DO NOT HAVE AUTHORITY through THIS COURT for that!!! [Looks away from Defense attorney and toward jury, with an expression of exasperation tempered with disgust.]
Let's just say it didn't go any smoother for Defense attorney once he started with his actual argument.
